17 AGAIN

call for help

I am 17 again.

I feel everything and all. 

The feelings which I didn't understand back then,

It all makes sense now. 

My existence must be questioned, 

I survived but it's obscure; I'm uncertain how. 

I see someone else in the mirror,

Yet, I know so much about her, 

Death of a dream, missing teddy bear, 

When the crowd walked over, the people she lost,

The reason behind her trembling hand, the things she adores the most. 

Same lips, same eyes; but still a stranger, 

Yet, I know so much about her, 

Maybe much more than me. 

I can stare much longer in the sun, 

But not in my eyes. 

It makes me feel something, 

Some dark, gutwrenching feelings. 

It tears me up,
Help I'm drowning.