It was mirror and smoke from the start

lesson learned 

I'm not much of a speaker,
I never have anything to say.

But around you,  I always find a way,
Either it's the drink that spilled on my dress,
Or the guy who sat beside me on the bus
Because I never know what to say after hey.

All my daily nuisance,
I explained and explained.
The only reason, I wanted to be heard,
By someone, anyone and I thought I finally found but didn't know you felt forced.

So you pushed me,
minutes, then hours and weeks,
Later I realized it was only me.
OVERTHINKING everything, it was not us,
Whatever we shared, not ours.

Maybe I thought it was better to let go,
I tried.
The unexpressed emotions again I tried to hide.
But the corner of my heart wanted to know,
if you had to go why do you lied?

To ring me?
To tag with you again if the man of your word never has to be.
Maybe it was overwhelming;
Me and the world, up to certain moments for thee.

And the void,
Everything in my head,
I had to dealt.
By the girl who has always been avoided,
how must it have been felt.

I've read that before,
no-one owns you explanation.
For whatever their actions is,
So you do not have to do that and don't please.

I understand it must have been hard,
Because I got the cue.
But I don't want to.