It's my first time too (living)

Am I loved or feared?

It's fine.....

You're okay......

Stay with me, please...

Just try to look around,

Three things you see, three things you feel, three sounds you hear,

It's all in your head, so no need to fear.

Maybe it was from then,

When the light started hurting my eye,
In the darkness, I could peacefully lie.

Wow, I thought this was my turn.
To get what I'm yearning for,
but just another lesson learned.

To realize,

I'm not the one or never will be.
Just to be noticed, no no I don't want to.
I'd rather crawl through your skin and be transparent, 

Rather than just be noticed not seen.

I was roaming around with just some ideas,

I've never seen world really like, 

What it is like to do that or be that,
Always was on my own.

I remember Math was hard 

but harder than that was being me.
Because there was explanation for math.

If not with me eventually one in the 100 would have,
but not about me.

 
BEEN MYSTERY, and hard
to be seen, loved, and understand.

The same question rings in my right ear,
What are you, why are you like this?
And I fear,
What if I find answers, 

But then my brain explodes because I won't be able to hear and bear,
the lie or if the truth.